If Only a Heart Could be as White as Snow.

I'm back. Where did i go? To reality. But now i'm here, once again back to writing as me, one of me. You may not understand this. I don't fully understand it yet. But we are not just one. We are many. Beings, feelings, thoughts, opinions. All infinite beyond our understanding of ourselves. A higher power mixed with the need to belong.

Love.

Happiness.

Art.

Power.

Perseverance.

Growth.

Death.

Life.

Explain this to me. Why do we live? What is my purpose, OUR purpose? Do we have one? Or were we all born under the watchful eye of the "HIGHER POWER".

And if that be true, who among us is truly free?

I am one of few who question the unquestionable. The thoughts no one will ever know. It's something science cannot tell us. For life, my life, your life, our life, has truly no meaning.

Life: a state of being. We all dream of living a life. No matter how wonderful said life tends to be, we live. We endure the harshness of our own faith to live and yet we suffer pain to a certain extent. We conquer life and our own lives when we die. Death: To end, to never have been, and to be no more. But are we really gone? Or are we just lost beyond our own lack of existence?

I finished a book, think you should all read.

Monday Mourning: by Kathy Reichs

As you can see through my many other posts, I elaborate on what I read.
So I read a book and this it what I think:This book made me wish a lot of things. It made me hope, feel, believe and see new things that I never thought about before. Every book written by Kathy Reichs in her series each has its own meaning that I usually pick up easily. This book was different. Even long after I finished it, I continued to think about what the author was trying to say. This book made me think hard and while I was writing this I feel like now I can express it and elaborate more on her point she was trying to make during the book.

This book made me wish I could be as brave and courageous as Tempe (the main character). In all of her books she has to look death straight in the face. Sometimes she comes close to even experiencing death herself. She has to deal with the overwhelming feeling that the remains she worked on were once of people, living people that were so brutally murdered. Their life was cut short and she has to find out why.

This book made me realize that each year approximately 16,000 people each year have their life so barbarically taken from them. We lie, we cheat, and we steal. But the worst thing we can do is take the life another, regardless of why. I always knew that people died, and I always knew people were murdered. It’s the “why” that always bothered me. Is there really any good reason? That’s the thing, there shouldn’t be a reason.

This book made me decide that when I get older, and it’s my time to choose a profession, I’m going to become a forensic anthropologist. I may not be able to stop these horrid people from killing but at least I will be able to give the once living a name and help put their killer behind bars. It may not change the world, but it’ll help the one we live in be a little better, one murderer at a time.
This book made me feel so many emotions that are each so hard to describe. Most of the time I felt sadness and complete anger, sadness for the lives that were taken and anger towards those who had taken those lives. There is and will ever be an excuse to kill another in my opinion.

This book made me wonder if we have ever been truly peaceful. One would never know, we could go back in time but I find some sciences dig to deep instead of looking at what has always been in plain view. We killed, we kill and we will kill. Past, present and future this will always occur, and I will always feel the same way until proven otherwise.

This book made me see murder in a new way. I always knew everything I previously mentioned but know I see it deeper. Humans can’t be a higher intelligence. Yes we create; yes we utilize things that were never thought possible, but we fail to realize one thing. While we create and utilize, we destroy. We utilized a way to created money, which created greed, and with greed we destroyed the lives of many. We are not much smarter than our previous generations before us. Whatever we do, or create or utilize will always end up destroying something some way or another.

This book made me believe that people don’t change. In the book a murderer who was found guilty was let on parole. Not some twenty years later he killed once again. We like to believe that people can change, that is one of our flaws, but really people never change. Someone that has stolen will always have stolen. Even if he never does it again, they did it that one time. Same thing with a murderer that may have murdered only one time and then stop, but they can’t change what they have done. They can’t clear their name, ever. People may change physically but they will always be what they have done.

Lastly, this book made me hope that someday we will truly become what we a called now, a higher intelligence.

Let me know what you think...
i took time to think about this and now i want to hear what you think about it

"the dead don't care, and I don't either."

Computer Status: FIXED
Best Friend Status: JAILED
Family Status: HOPELESS
Cat Status: DECEASED
Relationship Status: IT'S COMPLICATED

So there you have it, my past 2 weeks in 17 words. Simple isn't it?
One would think but with a trained mind you would know exactly what I meant. What ever happened to 'April showers bring May flowers'? Well my April showers brought a flooded May and a barren wasteland of moist tissues and dried tears.
So the computer is fixed, but my parents are at it again. Fight, fight, fight, fight, hug, fight, fight, hug, fight, fight, fight!! Its a teeter totter of hell and I'm the balance in the middle, the beam that holds everything up, the only thing keeping them from collapsing to the ground.

So my best friend, an amazing person he is. You can't ever bring him down, not even in jail. Adopted at birth by two pricks he made his way of his 14 years of hell with those, for lack of a better word, ass munches.
His head is high, shoulders weighted with the burden of 3 charges against him werevhe was faulsly accused and wrongly objectified against those horrible people that accepted him in to their family when he was only a small infant.
They should be rotting in a jail cell, for it is they who hath lied and cheated on life it's self.

On top of all that my loving cat passed away. I got him when i was 3 days old, and how those days did fly for it is now 4,883 days later and
he is dead. He was 4,903 days old when he died. May the afterlife give him great pleasures and such to I do not know of any greater joy than when I was with him.

My friends brother, My FrIeNdS bRoThEr, MY FRIENDS BOTHER. How ever u say it, read it or write it, it doesn't sound good. Espeacially when your friend has a crush on you too. Matt, what a lovely name. I never realized until now how much i love that name. The first guy in 4,886 days to make me feel like this. And if you wern't paying much attention before this it's the first time I've ever felt this way, and it's over my friends brother. Can you guess he's older? The sweetest guy you will ever meet, and a knockout! But what to do, all relationships are doomed to fail by my standards. Is it crazy?

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."
~Dr Seuss

The inspirational words of Gandhi,,, Man I should get me some of those.

So everyday was an understatement. I haven't wrote in what, almost a week now? And for that i do apologize. My computer is still broke and i cannot write until it is fixed. If you've go any and i mean ANY advice on ANYTHING please feel free to comment!

But last post, I talked about friendship and the bonds we make as humans- I just havr one thing to add...
~ 9 out of 10 marriges end in divorce and that only makes me think of one thing. Bald Eagles mate for life but a Lion can have multiple sexual partners through their lifetime. What if humans were supposed to be like lions and not bald eagles. Thats my theory- that we were never meant to mate for life!

Who knows? This wasn't a very long post but im sure i'll write tomorrow (:

until then the only words i know of Gandhi's

" A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes."
~ Gandhi

As I write...

My friends...
This post is for you all-

"And I'm still here, waiting here, to catch you if you fall. I don't know why I care so much when I shouldn't care at all."

I have a question and I would appriciate it very much if you could all give me your best anwsers (:

We humans make relationships, friendships and live with our family for a certain amount of years because we cannot stand to be alone. We create bonds between people because at least with them we know we belong. But why is it that dogs can spend a month with their mothers and then leave? I heard a show about water snake mother who lay her eggs and never return. When the babies hatch they are left alone- to fend for themselves. Why humans, we are still mammals. What is our need to be together. What would happen if our mother left us like water snake mothers do? What would we become?

Is it because we just feel too much? We are called a higher intelligence but are we really?

Without my friends- I think I would be no where. I wouldn't be happy at all.
But if we were born to be alone, could we really tell the difference? Are we all just mascarading behind things we are supposed to believe in?My friends, they are my life. If I was taught something different I'm sure I would think that way. Would I not?

This is for you my friends. You make me who I am. I am every relationship I have.


“The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief -
But the pain of grief
Is only a shadow
When compared with the pain
Of never risking love."

- Hillary Stanton Zunin

Happy? No can't say that I am...

So my computer broke. You want to know how it happend? So I was getting paid to jailbreak my friend's iPod and it's not like I haven't done it before. So the normal program I used wasn't working so I used another. It was highly reccomended so I tried it. My computer froze like normal and I didn't think much of it so I just rebooted it. It sent an error report throughout all my computer and now it's stuck frozen! I'm so upset. Now I can't write in my book until I print it out!!! I'll try to get it tomorrow after school but no promises.

So this will be it for the story stuff-

but something else to cheer me up:

(:
“One day I sat thinking, almost in despair; a hand fell on my shoulder and a voice said reassuringly; 'Cheer up, things could be worse' So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.”
- James C. Hagerty

If only Hagerty knew how true that was....

Anyone?

So this is my second post. My book is coming along quite nicely. Im beginning chapter three and i can already here the sounds of cash purchasing it. Im lost. Here you tell me~ am i over my head? I really want to do this... write a book... make it meaning full.

~here you tell me: this is from the second chapter (just a little preview)

It was getting late so I decided to go to sleep. Deep in my slumber, I dreamt of Shark Boy. I was in my office and he was sitting on my desk. Ruminants’ of decomposed tissue clung to the bone. The smashed skull began to chuckle, a deep throated laugh. A gruesome image began to form. A bowl of shark fin soup appeared on my desk and Shark Boy began to eat it. The steaming pale liquid began to seep through the fissures in his bones. The soup began rising to the ceiling. The door to my office swung open and I was flushed away along a river of soup. It flowed into an ocean. It was a deep black colour and a dense layer of fog hung tight in the air. The moonlight was struggling to break through and my arms increasingly became more tired from what felt like hours of treading water. Lightning crackled overhead and as it did a shark protruded from the water. Scars covered its body but it wasn’t the worst part. This particular shark had no fins. Not like a birth defect but it looked liked these fins were sliced cleanly away. Its massive jaws opened wide and it came hurling towards me. I awoke suddenly, sweat dripping down my face. My hair was plastered to my skull. I was longing for a cold drink, I was too tired and forgot my need of refreshment and went back to sleep. I was dreading to continue the dream.


http://somethingtowriteabout-blueprint.blogspot.com/

Only the Beginning

So this is it. My first post, my first day beginning to tell the world (well those of you who are reading) about my story. I am an aspiring author. My idol is Kathy Reichs for her magnificent books and tales she creates through her lets call her something little more than a fictitious character Temperance Brennan. I'm not only an aspiring author but i hope to be somewhat like Kathy in training to become a forensic anthropologist. If you haven't guessed it already I'm not very old. I will be 14 on August 21 of this year. Don't stop reading just because I'm a little young! Listen, I've started my first book. This is to help me deal with the pressures of school, parents and publishing. This is my blog. This is my life.

Do you think i can do this? write a book? publish it? meet my idol Kathy? I want to write a book, a forensic novel. i want it to be perfect. the forensic detail will be extreme. I'm a kid but I'm not dumb and i know too much for my own good.

Here i will share my thoughts, hopes, dreams and feelings about everything.
I'll keep writing, everyday i hope. Just as long as i have something to write about.